I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
honey bunches of taint.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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