doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
