one might say we're banned from that church
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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