Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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