so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
