Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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