the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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