Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
