i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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