is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
