I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize