No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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