i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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