ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
