Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
