the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.