What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.