If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..