so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
