And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
