were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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