I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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