im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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