The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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