Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
