So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize