yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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