problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i think my cat just said my name.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
