Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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