Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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