I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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