at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
