im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
