that's an acceptable place to lick
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
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it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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