Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
