He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
