garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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