I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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