hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
