dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
