Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
40s are totally the cure
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
