talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
