i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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