can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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