no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
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i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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