how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
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I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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