To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
