i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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