All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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