Why are handjobs necessary in class?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
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Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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