I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize