just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
