And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
