That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
