i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
